Even though I've had an incredibly rewarding and amazing job, whose mission I fully and wholeheartedly support, while working with so many amazing mentors and board members, and among all, children, it was overshadowed by negativity. A one-sided conflict; I forced myself to overlook the harshness and simply focus on improving the program, for almost 2 years. But in the long run, a force finally led me to re-evaluate my self worth. It's exactly what we try to pass on to the kids in our program; to be kind and treat one another with respect and dignity. What kind of ship would I be steering if I continued to let the negativity sabotage my, or worse, the program's potential? I am incredibly sad to bid farewell to so many kind and positive people with whom I worked, however, I am eternally grateful to be shedding myself of the unnecessarily large amount of time spent on the negativity, over which I have no control. And I've already experienced some great things as a result of this removal.

Suddenly, I am glancing in the direction of a birch tree-line path along a river, instead of diving head first into a brick wall. Who knows where this path will lead, but I am grateful to where the past two years have led, and the two before that, and the two before that, so I am certain that this will be just as well.

Today I enrolled in two beginning art classes at the community college. This time around, I get in state tuition, thank you baby jesus. It is one of the first steps I will take in order to gain experience in the field of art therapy. The road will be long, if I continue along this path, but I feel that it is as close to a calling that I'll ever recognize, so I'm willing to hit the ground running. In the mean time, I'm still looking for a part time job in a clinical social work setting, so I can begin supervision towards becoming an LCSW.

A couple of weeks ago, I saw the most amazing and vibrant path of light move across the night sky. Fortunately, I was able to share it with someone else. Then, two days later, I saw another light streak, same brightness in a slightly different hue. I shared this sight with the exact same person. Two days ago, I saw a slight beam of light move across the night sky. I still wonder if they saw it, too. This time I made a wish.

So many changes and so many lions. What are they all roaring about? Right now, my roar is relief. It's also time for new roommates and I wonder whom they will be. My current ones are amazing and I'll miss them immensely. I continue to be grateful for all the wonderful people I know and remain in my life throughout the years. I've been spending my time working on and constructing fictional stories. Maybe someday they will come to life on someone elses pages...

Shit, Shaque

It’s a funny funnel-shaped bottle cap.

A twist off the ol’ block

Black tar, yellow lines, blue tears, brown nose.

What’s it worth to you?

Pick the scab, bloody beets

Cut it short, cut the shit

Take off your hat and blow me a kiss

Sing alongs, musical merry-go-rounds

Passing them off, as if they were pros

Blasting the black canon

Balls to the wall

So, it has taken me a while to justify writing about my thoughts with the public, once again. “Blogging” is so very interesting to me. What makes someone want to read about someone else’s life on the Internet? Is it more interesting to read about a complete stranger, compared to someone who lives in the same town? Or what about someone you once knew pretty well, but they’ve moved away. Why does one even want to express their thoughts publicly? There are hundreds of thousands of blogs out there, from hundreds of thousands of people doing hundreds of thousand of different things. Maybe that’s what makes public writing so interesting. I am grateful I was encouraged to learn to read and to write the English language. What a gift!

But what are people’s motives and does it even matter? Why would you give a shit about what I have to write on these pages? (Don’t worry, I actually don’t give a shit either, if you even do…which is my justification and motive behind public writing, once again). So there you have it, folks. Take what you want, leave what you want because life’s too short not to be doing what you want (without harming others). And this is what I want; to write, openly and honestly, and share my ideas and pictures, and expressions. Some of it true, and some of it from my imagination. Don’t read it just because I write it, and stop reading as soon as you don’t want to be reading anymore and you’d rather be doing something else. If you want more information, or need a little help, all you have to do is ask.

Long ago, I decided to dedicate my life and actions to improving humanity, as much as one person can dedicate and improve. I cannot promise answers, but I can listen and help formulate ideas and actions, based on our experiences and from those surrounding the circumstances. Humans are an extremely unique and bizarre species. We didn’t choose to be born, but we’ve got to try to figure out how to live. My philosphy? Keep things in perspective, treat people like you’d like to be treated, and consciously use as little as possible.

Yesterday, I put in my resignation from the job where I worked for over the past year and a half. I am finally releasing myself from incredibly bad energy and motives. It’s not quite over yet, but it will feel really really, really good when it is. At the same time, I’m releasing myself from extremely wonderful energy, although I feel that relationships will still be maintained. I am excited for this change of scenery. Obviously, better and more postive things await.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you very much for reading! One of the many things I learned from my parents was to always say please and thank you and to be polite, in general. So thank you for taking time to read this, when you could have been spending time doing something else. I hope that you keep reading.

Today was 110 degrees

Outside Furniture

I think it’s pretty to see real furniture out on a lawn

Let’s set our bedroom up the way it is now, out on our lawn

We’ll melt ice cubes on our bodies if we’re laying out on the lawn

Because I like how light hits your face when we’re wasting time sitting out on the grass

And the blood doesn’t stain my reflection of you when I prick your lips

And the words on the pages are slowly coming alive

And we’re dancing among the furniture we set up outside

I think it’s lovely to see real furniture out in the yard

I forget that you’re dying, getting stoned at the table we moved to the yard

It makes me hate that I love you, sipping coffee in chairs we both brought out to the yard

But it’s easy now you’re stoking the fire, while I’m digging your grave

And you’ve told me not to worry, our things are made of oak, and you won’t be far away

Singled Out

A single prick, a single poke
A single line, a single toke
A single chair sitting there
A single glance; one single chance
The singles mingle and dance
My single bed? One single said, to the singled out upon which he fed
This single night
That single fight
A single bite
And one single is dead

Planet Opie's

You know that feeling when sometimes you REALLY need to get away? You've had just about enough of school, the checkout guy who keeps eerily checking you out, your nagging roommate, that ingrown nose hair and pretty much planet Earth in general and wish you could escape to an alternate universe all together. We've all been there, of course, but perhaps didn't exactly know how to handle the situation. Little did you know that there has been a simple solution and alternative universe right here in little ol Norman, Oklahoma, known as Opie's Night Club. Or, for those of us who repeatedly plan to return, simply: Opie's.

Most people in this college town have an Opie's story. They either know a friend of a friend or a sister or cousin whose picture is on the wall or was maybe "grooved on" one too many times at the Club. Some folks stumble upon the establishment because it's practically their back yard, and some get dragged there because it's their boss's birthday and they want to look sooo good. Others brave the invite of a close friend, which, in my opinion, is the ultimate friendship test. Sure, it helps if you like to dance, and I'll admit, it's not the kind of place you'd go to if your alternate universe involves fancy cocktails or 150" HD plasma LED flat screens. But if you're with a group of your "close" friends and they're all out there gettin' down and groovy and you're sittin' in your wicker chair thinking you'd rather be tweezing your ingrown nose hair, you may want to seriously re-think your common interests.

The first time I went to Opie's was in 2006, with one of my girlfriends whose older brother used to frequent the establishment. Even though she is a Norman native, she had yet to explore the mystery, so one daring night, we gave it a go. The instant we stepped across the threshold, we were transported back in time, to carpet the length of a Chia Pet's 'fro, flashing light bulbs the colors of Skittles, reflected by spinning mirrored balls and walls of mirrored walls. Not to mention that Opie, himself, dressed in a camel-colored, mole-haired, suite and mock turtle neck and decorated in gold jewelry, greeted us at the door. Once we took a minute to breathe and exhale, we noticed the actual dance floor. Dance floor is an understatement. It's pretty much as if Simon Says and Dance Dance Revolution got married by Mattel and Opie's was born, only so that the two games could have an outrageous wedding reception, all in one night. The floor is made of tiles. And the tiles light up...in different colors. And on our debut night, they also happened to have karaoke, which of course, I dutifully filled out my request that was probably a Judd's song.

That night seems like eons ago. Soon after, I left the country, and although I found temporary replacements for dancing and karaoke, nothing quite topped the charts, like Opie's did. My friend sent me updates, about the crowds and regulars, songs that were played, the bouncers and wait staff, and of course Opie. Then, one fine update, she divulges that the Club has a VIP card. Not only does it have a VIP card that gets you in, without the cover, at any time throughout the night, but she's got one!

For months, after my return to Norman, I openly coveted her VIP card. Apparently you have to really "get Opie's attention" in order to receive one. She got hers from a friend who had other lady friends visiting from out of town. I didn't know how I would ever get one, but I just knew I had to have one.

Then, last Friday, me and three girlfriends, including my original Opie's friend, zipped up our dancing shoes and headed for the flashing lights. Hands down, it was the most epic Opie's night I had ever experienced. To start, catching up with lady friends is always a good base line. Then, add dancing as a group, and with THE classic regular, whose dance partner mystery we finally uncovered, a little flirting with fellow mid-twenties Opie's frequenters, not one, but two birthday celebrations, The Safety Dance, some Dirty Dancers, Madonna, and hugs from Opie (not just the pound)!! The icing on the cake?! One of the birthday boys got a stack of VIP cards from Opie, which he gave to each each one of us ladies!! I really thought I was going to burst.

Now, my very own VIP card is now laminated with packing tape and tucked safely in my wallet. That is, until the next time I get the urge to dance to Pat Benatar on a rainbow colored floor, at 12:30am.

Picture an Adventure

Falling in love always makes someone fall off the face of the Earth. I don't think any other emotion can cause such disruption in one's life, for such an extend period of time. Because when you're in love, and the love is reciprocated, the fire just keeps getting fed. For me, it's one of the main reasons that the summer and the fall months turned into winter in the amount of time that it takes for water to boil. You just keep finding meaningful ways to spend your time while you wait for the tiny bubbles to appear, and before you know it, you're enjoying a hot, tasty tea. Even better, you're sharing it with someone you enjoy just as much as your tea, watching the confetti-colored leaves spiral to the ground.

Okay, I know that was cheesy, but by now, most of us can relate. Which is why I know you'll understand why it's most appropriate to display the last 5 months (the length of time since the last post) in terms of photographs. Me and my beau, Todd, have traveled to some memorable places and met some generous folks along the way. Stay tuned for more...





























































Here are several pics from our travels together*:

1. Todd went to Mardi Gras with a good friend, last February. I didn't really know him very well at the time, but he made sure to send me pictures, so I didn't feel left out.

2. Todd enjoys the outdoors just as much as I do. We went to Taos, New Mexico in September, with his best friend, and saw a couple of tiny bear cubs late one night. We also spent time on the mesa and I learned what kinds of recycled building materials are utilized in this environment.

3. Todd is a talented and very creative musician. He plays guitar and sings in a couple of bands in the OKC/Norman area. It is a blast to watch him perform and hear what his newest ideas consist of. Here he is on the Grammy's stage, with one of his biggest and youngest fans, Steven.

4. Since Todd plays in a band, on stage, he's not a stranger to getting tattoos. He's a rock star, and rock stars need tattoos, so while we were at a friend's place in Chicago, he got some new ink.

5. Interesting women are always drawn to Todd. This lady, Zelda, asked me to take their picture when we were at the Norman Medieval Fair last May. I didn't want to be rude, so I obliged. She turned out to be really nice, and even gave us a turkey leg. Yummy!

6. Todd also works part time for Science Museum, Oklahoma. Bill Nye was presenting a workshop about electro-auto fastening micro cordless peddle boards (one of Todd's favorite subjects), and was so impressed by all of Todd's knowledge and initiative in answering questions, Mr. Nye just couldn't pass up the photo op.

7. Yup! We're hanging with the big wigs. Todd has encouraged me to become more involved with world affairs and politics. We were invited to vote in the gubernatorial elections in November, as citizens of towns in the state of Oklahoma. This picture was taken after Obama won the presidential election.

8. Okay, this one was photo-shopped. Maybe one day we'll make it to Mecca...

9. Here we are preparing for our trip to the Moon. Since we enjoy traveling the Earth so much together, we thought we'd shoot for it. That way, I'll be able to thank my lucky stars, in person.


Well, there you have it, folks. We have been busy learning new things about the world we live in, and about each other, and as a couple of young adults.

Peace and hugs!

Courtney

*Photos courtesy of the Flat Stanley Project (http://www.flatstanley.com/picture_gallery.html). Remember him? My sister sent Stanley to Guam when our cousins lived there some time ago.